www.seipokai.com

The best thing about living in a developing nation is the rampant levels of piracy of nearly everything that’s on the market, which means basement prices for ‘branded’ products. Naturally you get what you paid for, so don’t be surprised if that Louis Vuitton wallet would fall apart in matter of days.

Today I discovered piracy is now at another level altogether. While hanging out in Kenyalang Park with my mates Khairol, Nigel and Norman, we went around the stalls and I found this:

Star Sports branded socks!!! The pirates must have met up one day and the conversation went:

Ah beng 1: “Aiya… sii loo (die loo) everything also got… adidas la… LV la.. verchache la (versace)… what to kopi liao??? (copy)”

Ah beng 3: “Aiya!! diam la…. (Shut up la)… limpeh want to kua kiu (watch football) ok or not… ninabeh!”

Ah beng 1 look at Ah beng 2…

Ah beng 1: “Sui la (Nice!)… we make stocking! Star Sport brand… sui bor? (Nice or not?)”

Ah beng 3: “Aiya lu lang suka la (Up to you guys)…! I help market at Kenyalang later!”

And there we have it, Star Sports branded socks! Proudly made in Malaysia! Comfortable & Durable! Long live piracy!

Then onwards to the next few stalls and what do we have here?

Mysterious Gift. Wonder what is that? So naturally I turned over to read the instructions, meaning to find clues to what this “mysterious gift” is.

Extrude water bag from the package with hand, put the place you like, step on it forcibly with feet after toy’s bag is bursted, then lots of emulated stool (!) that are olid and dirty will fly here and there.

It makes every friend who sees it want to vomit.

I presume its a stink bomb? Or emulated stool bomb? Engrish from China… memang terror!

“Are you happy after you punished your friends?” - Wow… talk about after sales service! They actually ask you how you feel after you spray fake stinky shit all over friends who naturally becomes an angry mob chasing after your pranking ass…

And my favourite?

“The product supplies between friends to make happiness and amusement, please don’t use it in public”

First they ask you whether you’re happy after getting fake shit all over your friends (And get beaten up in the process) now they dont want you to use it in public? Where am I suppose to use this thing then???

RM2.50 for a crash course in China english lessons, a good laugh, a trip to the hospital, great after sales service and last but not least a public service announcement! What great value!